Gifts better left ungiven*

Among the things you should not do on the wedding day of an ex-lover is write a column like this:

The great love of my life marries today and I am not the groom. I had my chance, a few years ago, but did not realize until too late how fleeting my moment with her was meant to be. Whether it was my fault or hers, and, let's face it, it was probably mine, I will wonder always about the life I might have had with the most loving and loveable woman I have ever known. Sometimes, I finally now understand, love, even crazy love, is not enough. Sometimes, as the romance novelists know, timing is everything.

-snip-

The present I humbly send her today is this column; this public note, this irrevocable display of affection and support and gratitude; this worldly absolution from any guilt or sadness she felt between the time she said no to me and the time she said yes to him. No one ought to have to carry that with them into a marriage. I showered her with as much love as I could muster when we were together. I still love her and always will. So I am only too happy to offer my toast to her now, one more time, before she takes her vows.

Offering absolution to someone who moved on and calling it a humble gift? Yipes. This reads like a drunk dial in column form.


*Update: In keeping with the journalistic mission of this blog, here's a relevant comment on the Washington City Paper site: "Where were his editors?! Editors: You have the power to stop this kind of self-destructive catharsis-by-column."

It's your wedding, too

Los Angeles Times magazine author and assistant editor Allison Kornberg wants you to be her wedding planner. She's used her blog to ask readers for suggestions:

I am letting my readers decide on Everything, including date (they already picked May), where (readers chose by the beach), my dress, my bridesmaids dresses, flowers, cakes, music, honeymoon, and the wedding list goes on and on.

So where should she go for her honeymoon?

(found via fishbowlLA)